Let’s begin with a little celebration. First of all, today is Friday so yeah! However, as you might imagine, the day of the week doesn’t matter much to me as they’re all the same, really. Sometimes the only way I know the difference between a weekday and the weekend are the shows on tv and how early my neighbours do their high-heel scramble mad-dash out the door. With this said, Fridays and weekends are fewer pill days for me – which in itself is cause to celebrate! Today is a 19 pill day so that warrants a little dance. My biggest pill days are Mondays and Thursdays where I have to take 26, and Tuesday and Wednesday a little less. You might think it’s slightly pathetic to be excited about something so trivial but trust me, I’ll celebrate anything and everything right now. (I did a quick rough calculation and I’ve taken over 8000 pills since all this began so yes, I get excited when there are a few less to take.) Got to appreciate the small stuff sometimes.

As you all know, I get confused and easily distracted which makes for some funny scenarios. Last night, I was getting ready to take my evening pills which I place in a small pill container then pop them in my mouth and take a sip of water. It’s not rocket science and after doing the same thing 7 times a day, every day for the past year and a half, one would think I had mastered this part of the process by now. But, well, not so much. Somehow I was holding my pill container in my left hand, while I was trying to pour water into my glass. Something must have distracted me, either a noise, or a thought, or my own brain got jumbled but I suddenly realized I was pouring water into my pill container and not into my glass! Really? WTF! I actually had to be looking closely and concentrate enough to pour water in such a small container without spilling but somehow, it never occurred to me that it was the wrong thing to do! The weirdest thing after that was my trying to save the pills thinking I had to take those exact ones instead of just replacing them with ‘dry’ pills. It’s sad but funny at the same time. Rather fascinating to realize that what you are doing makes no sense but somehow the neurons in your brain don’t fire fast enough to let your hands know to stop. I had to roll my eyes at that craziness.

Another example that had me shaking my head in disbelief are the various mouthwashes I have. On my bathroom sink I have a bottle of Fluorinse which I need to do before going to bed (to protect my teeth against decay because of the lack of saliva) and a bottle of Biotene mouthwash to ‘hydrate’ my mouth before and after meals. Now these two bottles look completely different from each other and are on opposite sides of the sink, with sticky notes above each detailing when I need to take them. And still, still I get confused. Not a big deal, but it’s amazing how little it takes to distract me.

I guess I should count myself lucky that I haven’t yet confused the mouth rinse with the glass cleaner (they’re both the same colour). I know better and keep the glass cleaner in a basket on a shelf away from everything else – just in case. Since I floss everyday, occasionally a few times a day, the glass cleaner gets used a lot and it wouldn’t surprise me if one day I end up doing something ‘creative’ with it. I shudder at the thought! Even though it’s enviro-friendly, I wouldn’t want to test how toxic it could be. Thankfully I have the presence of mind to turn my glass upside down before I spray the mirror with the cleaner. That’s all I need, glass cleaner in my water glass.

This morning, as I was brushing my teeth, I was busy reading all my little sticky notes beneath my mirror. I spit and was ready to rinse my mouth with water when instead of bringing the glass to my lips for a sip, somehow my hand thought that my brain was telling it to dump the water behind the faucet – all over the sink and floor! What happened? I turned on the water to fill my glass and with the same hand which was holding the glass, I reached to turn off the water and ended up dumping the water all over the place. Again, WTF? So brushing my teeth ended up with my inadvertently washing the floor around the sink. Goodness gracious! Crazy stuff. You just gotta laugh at it all! There’s never a dull moment.

Talking about having a plethora of sticky notes plastered all over, there’s another one just beneath my mirror to remind me about my cyclosporine eye drops twice a day. I need to keep my drops on the kitchen counter with the rest of my meds which is sometimes problematic since the time it takes between me reading the reminder in the bathroom to when I get to the kitchen, often I forget why I’m in the kitchen and what I’m supposed to be doing. Perhaps I should carry the sticky note from the bathroom to the kitchen? This is ridiculous, funny, but ridiculous! Talk about short-term memory!

Now, the cyclosporine pills I take (immunuosuppressant meds) have as a side-effect to increase hair growth. If I put in cyclosporine eye drops, will that give me hairy eyeballs? I think I’ve said this before but really, it warrants being reiterated. I’ve been putting them in for over a month now and am still waiting to see any difference. My eyes are still dry, irritated, blurry, blood-shot and slightly opaque as opposed to bright and clear. So, what are these drops supposed to do exactly?

Ok, so this week I did something really, really stupid. What’s the difference between something inadvertently silly and something stupid? Stupidity is when you do something knowing that it’s not the brightest idea and yet, you still go ahead with it. I was doing errands downtown and it was time to take my dinner meds so I had to find something to eat. Eating out is not always easy because of all the dietary limitations and restrictions. And, I wanted something quick and easy. I was tired, didn’t feel like walking around hunting for ‘appropriate’ food that didn’t have lots of people around. McD’s was near, there were no lineups, and it’d be quick. I know, I know, even for a healthy person McD is the wrong choice. But I thought what the heck – I won’t taste it anyways.

Well, if taste was the only issue I would have been fine. The stupid thing is that I know it’s crap and the worst thing I could impose on my liver. (Prepared salads are on the restricted list because of the potential for bacteria so not an option). A few bites into a hamburger and I started feeling the effects of it immediately. It felt like I had swallowed a bowling ball which had triggered a volcanic eruption in my digestive tract! I had massive heartburn, acid reflux and bile over-flow throughout my entire stomach, liver, esophagus and mouth. What was I thinking???? My face was beet red, I was profusely sweating and writhing in pain – good times!

Thankfully, there was a pharmacy next door. I knew it wasn’t life-threatening, I just need something fast-acting to calm everything down. I wanted to make sure to speak to the pharmacist so as to choose the right product that would not interfere with my meds. He was leisurely doing whatever on the computer as I’m clutching the counter, ready to burst, throw up, pass out or all of the above. He ever so slowly (so it seemed to me at the time) made his way to the counter to ask if he could help me (what gave it away that I needed help?). Somehow my clutching the counter to prop myself up and tears in my eyes from the pain was not indication enough that something was wrong? Anyways, here I was, having to go through my current health situation and my excessively long list of meds so that he could recommend the most effective, appropriate and fast acting antacid which of course he had to research online to make sure there were no counter-indications with my meds.

Anyways, we finally find something which I immediately take, make my way home and plop myself on the couch, still wearing my coat and shoes, praying the pain will eventually stop. Thankfully within an hour the pain had subsided.

The moral of the story? It’s not so much that fast food will kill you if you have it once, it’s laziness that will. If I would have taken the time to search for a place to have soup or cooked vegetables, I would have been fine. But no, I had to be stubborn, take a chance, and paid the price of my laziness.

I always say, listen to your body, it will tell you what it needs. And then again, it also reminds you when you’re being stupid about your food choices.

Alright, let’s see what other stupid things will happen today. Every day is a new day, with fresh potential for something silly and interesting to happen.

Marie-Chantal